Week 11-Discussion 1

Which pattern (rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry) do you think would be the most difficult to change? Why? Which would be the most damaging to a relationship? Which would be the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved?

I think that the pattern that would be the most difficult to change would be submissive control. I am pretty indecisive, so I need to be around people who are more decisive or else we would be stuck saying "I don't care, you decide" every time we tried to make plans. A situation of two indecisive people could put a lot of strain on a relationship because both wants the other to decide. I know when I am with a friend who does not want to make the decision either I get super frustrated and I am sure they must feel the same way that I do.

As for the most damaging, from my experience the most damaging pattern to a relationship has been from rigid complementary. I have had friends that always have to be in control, and although I am pretty submissive, but my relationships with control freaks never seem to work out. Its sort of like, you have to give a little to get a little, and the control person doesn't seem to want to let go enough to give some control to someone else.

The patter that could have the most damage to self-esteem would most likely by competitive symmetry, I think. Compeition can easily lead to a bruised ego and damage to ones self-esteem..